Saturday

Transitioning and needs advice.

Hi everyone!

This is my first time posting on here. I'm about to go through a transition phase from my two year part/full time nanny position into a full time live-in nanny/housekeeper position. Are there any other women on here who have done or are currently holding a similar position? I'm 22 and have never held a live-in position. I'm very excited to start, but I am also nervous because of my lack of really knowing what to do or expect, seeing as I'll be living with my employers during the week. What are some tips for live-in nannies? How can I be the best live-in possible? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!!

Activities

Do you have a favorite craft or favorite thing to do with your charge(s) For VALENTINES DAY?

If so, please send us an email or comment here and we will share.

 We can all use a little help from our friends.  Remember, it takes a village...
We have a FREE gift (s) going out monday to the Nannies <3 Kids Club, not only Valentine surprises but cute Mardi Gras beads and more - just email in an address to send them and if it's for boys or girls - we don't want to send pink stuff to boys (BJ - your gift accidentally did not go out yet, so you will get a double surprise)

Craft Time

Super cute and east penguin craft

Use any color 11x14 paper
You can trace & your charges can cut out with or without your help depending on age.
White paper trace & cut eyes add wiggly eyes trace & cut breast of belly
Orange paper trace & cut beak
Black paper trace & cut body
Any color fleece trace & cut circles for ear muffs & scarf
When cutting scarf it works better to cut where it will go around neck a bit thicker maybe about 1.5 inches and as you get closer to where you will tie it maybe 1/2 to 1/4 inch.
Lay scarf on paper make it so the length will even, then glue middle of scarf down
Glue white breast on black body
Glue on eyes & wiggly eyes
Glue body on colored sheet of paper
Tie scarf
Add beak
Add thicker pipe cleaner ( you may need to hot glue this )
Add muffs
Draw, cut, stamp or buy snowflakes for back ground

Monday

It's Featured Comment time!

Nannyoftheyear said...

Wow, this is a tough one. If the parent agreed to pay you that much then it is completely wrong for them to not do what was agreed to. Was that payment agreed to ever in writing or even in s text or anything that can be seen and proved that was the rate agreed to? I do honestly think that's a crazy amount to charge for babysitting when the children are asleep the entire time. I know charging at night when a child is sleeping is always a big debate over what's enough.... But $17.00 an hour is more than I make being a nanny with two children during the day, although I do love in smaller city than New York city. Question to parents....would you pay a good amount more to have an extremely qualified nanny there with your children while they are sleeping or is experience a little less necessary than s decent rate when you know it will be unlikely your child will wake up? What's the average rate most pay a babysitter (because if it's a few hours a month at night then I don't consider that a nanny job)? I am pretty shocked that you actually find families to pay you that much for evening care, op do you have other families you do date night care for with their children asleep the whole time that actually pay you that rate?

Nanny Mom Problem Part Deaux

From Leigh: Wow - I thought we would be getting email from nannies who are mothers, which we are - fine humans- but this topic is hitting a nerve with mothers who hire the NM's ( is that a new term we made up? ?)

From Mom Gina ( no last name please) ( Highland Park Dallas)

I had a disturbing incident with a nanny who was a mother. We set up an interview in which I would meet her daughter - 3 years, about 1 year older than my son, I thought he could learn from her and having a playmate would help him adjust as I went back to work. With planning, 2 kids can be sometimes better than a lone child imo.

I learned about this nanny from a friend of a friend and so she comes to my house not with one child but 3!  An older girl, 7, the 3 year old and an 11 year old  girl in a wheel chair, unable to talk, barely able to move. My house is not equipped with the proper ramp so it took my next door neighbor's husband and their gardener to pick her up the  porch/stairs to get her into the house.

The two hour interview became about making sure all her kids were ok, with snacks, drinks, which ever of my son's toys were not too beneath them. I had to guard my boy while things were being thrown and spilled. I tried - I asked questions, I tried to get her to interact with my boy but - her kids needed her themselves, and her special needs daughter broke my heart, a really sweet unfortunate child. I tried to ask - now - who will be watching your kids while you are with B.? And the answer was very long winding - sometimes her mom could watch them, sometimes her aunt etc - but nothing ever certain 100%.

I could not hire her under these circumstances. We had to wait till my husband got home to safely get the wheelchair-bound child out of the house and back into the vehicle. I emptied my fridge of anything I thought they could use and gave her money for gas.

I had a conversation with my friend asking if she KNEW the circumstances and she said yes, but the mother needs help so badly she thought I could help. Well, I need to take care of MY son and family - so flame away! But I did feel very bad for that mother, or nanny etc.

Nannies / Moms Bad Experience

I have had 2 experiences with Nannies who were mothers and brought their kids to my house while working. I thought of all the nice possibilities - my daughter who was 4, 2 years ago, would have a built in playmate and my acquaintance was able to give a bit of a discount as we are not rich . Her 5 year old son dominated my daughter, breaking her toys, even reaching over for her food when he had his own. He was angry, when his mom was doing her nanny job with my daughter he would sometimes have really disturbing tantrums. She needed the money and just acted like there was no problem at all. My boyfriend and I ( not married)  did not feel comfortable leaving her at home.by herself, we were able to get both our mothers to help a little but finally we had to say no more - it was very hard on the acquaintance, we somehow pooled together some money for severance.

Fast forward- a year later we enlisted a different nanny/birthday specialist to bring the cake/supplies/games/decorations and much more and she regaled us how hew 3 year old daughter would dress as "tinker belle" and "help". Tinkerbelle tore up our garden - methodically killed all the flowers and vegetables. I am assuming because of anger seeing her mother make much of our daughter as the b-day girl.

I am sure there are many situations where a nanny/mom gets it right and I do feel badly for those in hardship but we had these 2 experiences

Sunday

Salary Advice Please

Hello, everyone. I am hoping for salary advice. I am a professional nanny with 9+ years of experience and a Bachelor's degree geared toward working with special needs children, many certifications, references, etc. I'm wondering what a fair, yearly full-time salary would like like for two 6.5 year old autistic children. This includes before and after care, light housekeeping, laundry, meal prep driving to and from school, activities etc. It will be in the Bergen county area and includes vacation and sick pay. Roughly 7:30-6:30Monday through Friday. I have only worked for hourly rates and the family will be arriving from out of the country and asked what a fair salary might look like. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you!

Regards,
Nanny in North Jersey



Today's Rant from a Nanny/Babysitter

So I had a funny situation with babysitting this weekend. There is one family I babysit for that is only date nights. Only sometimes date night is til 3 am on a Tuesday.

Anyway, they have normal day care/ nannying IDK what for their 3 year old normally during the week. I was hired because I specifically don’t care how late they stay out. I have insomnia anyway and the kids asleep the whole time, so I just write and watch TV etc.

When they hired me the MB balked at my normal rate and since it had very little actually babysitting and was so close to my house I settled for a $17 an hour rate she usually pays $15 I guess. The problem is after the first couple of visits they would show up at 3 or 4 in the morning, hand me a pile of cash and put me in an Uber, and it was less that my usual rate (in fact maybe actually a mistake, I just really doubt it)

Anyway since i usually only sat for them once a month and I didn’t want to burn any bridges I would just let it go. I’ve said things to Moms who I have issue with in the past and especially if it’s just an occasional thing you’ll never hear from them again. Some Moms need to be told that it isn’t ok to book a sitter for anytime they might possibly need you and then cancel at the last minute as needed. I mean once or twice because of an emergency--- I’m not going around shaking down people for money, but when you’re pretty much trying to have someone on call (like booking me for a week and only needing an afternoon, but only pay them when you absolutely need them…it's disrespectful to the point that it bothers me to even have to point it out.

And I totally understand how somebody would think it’s a lot of money to pay someone who barely sees your kids and catches up with the Kardashians (they know this, it's late, they’re asleep I’m not like secretly neglectful), but like, my rates are my rates and not everyone is going to be cool with the coming home at 3 am on Tuesdays. Surge pricing or whatever..

Anyway recently I started sitting for them a bit more often. Their kid is seriously one of the best behaved I’ve even encountered, and so cute and sweet. But they kept shorting me my already reduced rate and sometimes only having be over for like 3 hours or less with no warning and I’m just not in the business of having my Friday nights booked for that little money. I told her one time 3 hours is the minimum, but that’s really with my normal rate and usually at the very least 4 hours.

Anyway now she pays me via venmo, so they’re a receipt and I can pay taxes and everything’s on the up and up which is great. She booked me for this Friday, and I assumed it was going to be a late night and that even with her extra reduced rate I would be coming up with enough money to feel better about not having a fun Friday night, but sure enough her husband comes home 2.5 hours later, acts like this is a good thing and puts me in an Uber saying his wife will Venmo me.

So kinda pissed off I went home and went to sleep only to wake up to no payment from her. So I sent her a request via Venmo, and since I got booked for a Friday night for something that if I knew how little I would be making I would have never even agreed to--I sent her my rate, not my actual rate, the rate we agreed to but she only sometimes actually pays. (Which by the way when you’re only there for 3 hours is like a 5 dollar difference. And she doesn’t pay it for a a couple hours. I had to send her a reminder, and when I did she sent me a text message that I found really insulting.




Accusing me of being dishonest and trying to sneakily overcharge her or something, and empathizing that I was only there for 2.5 hours like that’s a good thing, and charging her a fee, and to be careful this never happens in the future.
I responded telling her the rate we agreed on was $17. I did not mention that she’s the one who hasn’t been paying what they should, or that when dragging people out for money that isn’t worth the trip, giving pointers for “moving forward” is kinda ridiculous-- especially when I have to remind you to even pay me at all. I’m somehow more annoyed by this text message than by her gradually not paying me what probably adds up for a couple hundred dollars. I’m

I’m even more mad that she straight up ignored my text.I tried to be as polite about it as I could, especially I’ll probably never hear from her ever again. It’s fine of course. I’m sure I’m perfectly replaceable too. Maybe if they settle for someone younger, with no experience, who is irresponsible or something they’ll even be able to get their rate down to $10 or something. It's a relief really. I am very aware there are people who had much harder jobs than me and get paid a lot less than I am complaining about getting.

I know it’s partially my fault for not saying something a lot time ago, or to keep going over there, especially if it annoyed me enough to write this much about it The normal family I work for during the week never ever messes up my paycheck, and they treat me nicely, the pay me a lot more. Their children are much more of a handful and I do a lot for them, and thankfully I never have to worry if someone’s going to short me all the time. I don’t want to be in a position where I have to choose between the two bad options not saying anything and letting people walk all over you (me) or having to call someone at 4 am when I finally get home from their home because they “forgot” to my pay my full rate. I am tired of feeling like I’m somehow not entitled to money for what I do--- even if it is sitting around watching TV in someone’s house, I’m actually making it possible for parents with a toddler to stay out til 3 am on a Tuesday without judgement. I have sympathy for parents who complain that childcare isn’t affordable, but what these parents use me for is a luxury and just like everything else in New York, more expensive than most other places.

I remember she reached out to me to babysit on New Years, and I lied and said I couldn’t because I just didn’t want to have to have a conversation with her about how much I would have to charge, I just didn’t want to hear someone trying to haggle with me or something. I’m a good babysitter, but I’m not a charity. I am pretty sure the only way to get what you know what you’re worth is to ask for it I am going to try and start doing that.


 


I saw your baby's nurse

have observed an incompetent baby nurse doing the following things at her current job:

1)Washes baby's clothes and linens using a highly perfumed detergent when infant has extreme eczema.

2) First purees foods given at 5 months included broccoli, spinach, carrots, mangoes, and strawberries. (These foods are known to cause allergic reactions, nitrate poisoning, gas, and diarrhea).

3) Baby was constantly kept in "containers" like bumbo seats, swings, and exasaucers preventing them from reaching milestones. Baby was not sitting independently by 8.5 months, and not crawling by 10 months.

4)Baby placed in car seat with with large puffy jacket on.

5) Baby Nurse confessed to only taking in 300 calories a day; while drinking up to 9 cups of coffee a day, while not sleeping more than a couple hours a day, while going on long walks with baby( in major city) in the heat.

6) Baby Nurse disrespects Kosher Household and employers by bringing in pork, unkosher meats, and eating off the wrong plates.

7) Practices in-home medical care illegally without required state license.

8) Infant sometime rides on lap of Baby Nurse in car (without car seat) on icy and snowy roads in busy major city.

9)Baby Nurse leaves baby ALONE in crib in a high rise apartment to do laundry in the basement of building.

10) Baby Nurse breaches confidentiality of current and future employers by gossiping to friends about them.

11) Doesn’t feed the baby anything but formula and puree foods past babies first birthday, Occasionally will feed baby Cheerios, but will claim baby doesn’t have teeth to eat table food. Baby is never allowed to self feed food, except cheerios in order not to get dirty.

12) Baby's room is always messy and disorganized- to a dangerous degree for the crawling and curious baby.

13) Baby Nurse never cuddles, sings to, or rocks young infant. Baby never gets hardly ever gets nurturing tactile love in it's early life.

14) Baby Nurse snitches (mostly lies and sensitive topics) to employers and to other household staff, about other household staff. Since BN has been employed in home, ALL the household staff have admitted to being lied about, or snitched too by BN. Household is in turmoil, and Baby Nurse is HATED by most of the staff. At least one other staff members has fallen into clinical depression since the hiring of the Baby Nurse.

15) Baby nurse microwaves baby purees in plastic containers, as well as serves baby with plastic bowels and utensils. She often puts hot baby food straight into fridge without it cooling down first.

16) Has completely stocked baby nursery with soft plastic toys, mostly those that are loud and flashy. This clearly demonstrates no knowledge on infant cognitive and physical development.

17) Baby Nurse keeps nursery and other areas freezing. Baby's lips often turn blue and seems extremely uncomfortable.

18)Baby was put in a high chair months before he was able to sit unassisted. Baby was slouching into pelvis while fed.

19) Baby Nurse will only play or pay attention to baby when someone "important" is present or near. Baby is often ignored being put to play in crib, exasaucer, or playpen while baby nurse drinks coffee and surfs the internet.
20) The only time the baby is out is during self serving errands and calorie burning walks. Often sibling is told not to touch baby.

This Baby Nurse often works in a US major city. She claimes she earns up to $ 700-1000 a day for expert skills.

Responding to nannys that are moms

I think Leigh has a great idea with this and I would
like to hear from other moms who are nannys as well.I  could use the support for sure.

I am a mother and a nanny and I really love my job but I know a lot of family's that won't hire a nanny that is a mother too bc they are afraid their nanny will be too exhausted or most are women who are only doing it bc they need money and watching kids is all they know. I've been on many interviews where I wasn't sure how they would react once I told them I had children of my own. They seem confused..."why would you leave your kids with someone else to watch my kids and get paid?" Well bc it's like any job really? If I went to work at an office I would be doing the same thing? I really enjoy children, yes it's exhausting and it seems like its all I do from the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep. Yes I prepare 2 dinners each night....give your kids baths and my kids when I get home. I have felt guilty and conflicted at times when I am cuddling your child at the time and not mine, or while I'm taking yours to the park and a picnic while my kids are not with me. but at the end of the day I have to remember it's my job. 

I always make sure my weekends are reserved for my family and if my boss wants a date night on a weekend it cannot conflict which my kids schedule. I honestly know I'm lucky bc I have read some stories about Women from other countries that are nannies here in America, who have had to leave their children behind. Only to send them money to survive.One woman said "I feel so guilty when I'm eating,bc I don't know if my child will eat today." that broke my heart. I hope employers read this and realize hiring a nanny is a big responsibility. Someones livelihood is in your hands. Think before you hire or let someone go. I am a mother, a nanny, a hard working woman.

Saturday

The Best Mother In The World

A recent post from a NANNY who is also a MOTHER  hit home recently - how very difficult it is for them - the potential for criticism while working to their bones for not only their own children but their charges - we will have Ops from both sides of the coin chiming in over the weekend

Friday

Different Stages of Different Ages - Ideas!

Looking for ideas to help a 2 year old who is somewhat behind the other 2 year olds in my class. I know that every child develops at a different pace, however, this child is clearly not as advanced as the other 2 year olds, and I'd like suggestions on how to help him.

The other 2 year olds:
Are able to put on their own snow pants and boots

Can pull up and down their pants for the most part during diaper/potty time

Are trying to put on their own shoes

Are able to follow simple directions, along with two step directions : "when I say your name, go find your name at the table", "please take off your things and bring them to the closet when you are done" (we do this after we come in from outside and have one teacher in the closet showing them where their cubbies are), "go to the sink and wash your face and hands". They even understand getting a paper towel, turning on the water, and wiping their face with wet paper towel.

Can use their words if someone is bothering them, and can verbalize how they feel for the most part

Can understand, for the most part, if a friend doesn't like something they are doing, etc.

Of course they are two, and still learning, and they are so stinking cute. It's a work in progress, and everyday they are growing and learning.

What has been observed with this child:
Takes 20 minutes to put on and take off snow pants. We have up to 11 other kids depending on the day, and everyone else can dress themselves for the most part. This child sits there and doesn't move. By the time everyone else is dressed, this child is getting started, and needs someone to dress him.

Cannot even put on shoes, doesn't even try; just sits there, like he is waiting for someone to help him

Is very sidetracked by what is going on around him when attempting self help skills, such as getting dressed, washing hands and face, etc.

Has difficulty following simple directions: a few weeks ago, children were asked to find their names at the table, and sit down for lunch. Everyone was sitting down eating. This child was wandering around the tables for fifteen minutes like he didn't know what was going on, after being told what he needed to do several times. One of us had to guide him to his spot, which was the only one left at the table with a plate of food. We were surprised that he couldn't figure out what was going on, and what everyone else was doing.

Lack of social skills: he will go up to another child and take whatever they are playing with, or reading. Last week an older child (almost three) asked this child to please move out of her way so she could get through. This child just stood there and didn't move. The other child repeated what she asked again, a little bit louder this time, and he still didn't move. Finally, I walked over to them and gently moved him over so she could get through. Yesterday this child took a book from someone and kept holding on to it, before I explained to him he couldn't do that, as it was her choice of book. I asked him to give it back, and he couldn't grasp what I was asking him. I encouraged the child to use her words and take the book back, which she did with my help.

When I do hand over hand for self help skills, he jerks his hands away. I'm wondering if he has no fine motor skills, such as grasping and dexterity. Today after snack time, I told him to go to the sink and wash his face. He went over to the sink, then walked away. I explained the process: get a paper towel, run it under water and wipe the face. He got a paper towel and threw it in the garbage. I reminded him again how to wash his face. Finally, after the fourth time, I did hand over hand through the entire process, and he stiffened his hands and arms like he doesn't want to learn, and wants me to do it for him.

It's almost as if he wants everything done for him, and we are thinking that's the case at home. From what my director said, this child has always been like this, even in the 1 year old room. I started counting to ten, stating "let's see if you can get dressed before I get to ten". It seems to work, yet I also wonder if there could be a speech and comprehension delay that is preventing him from trying and understanding.

He is a mid-November birthday, hitting two and a half in mid-may. My director wants to wait until he is in our room for a few months before she says anything to the parents. I want to try a few things before that happens. Any ideas?

Thursday

Miss Annie's Etitquette Hour

We have a new reader! We welcome Miss Annie!!

Miss Annie has graciously agreed to answer our etiquette/manners questions.

Do you have a question for Miss Annie?

We will post questions as they come in, or you can ask in the comments!

Here is a link to her site!!

Gracious Me Academy - Miss Annie Presents Etiquette Books - AnnaMarie Martinez Minter - GraciousMeAcademy.com


A Prize Puzzle...

This weeks prize - calming hibiscus tea and SCORE!! Nanny reader Mishaun just donated a TON of mardi gras beads for our Nannies Love Kids Club - a special prize to the 1st person who tells us what land mass these beads form


A mom needs advice from our readers

In 2 weeks our family will be going on a vacation�� to Florida. Here is my dilemma my 14 year old daughter is scared to death of flying, not only that we will crash but she's more scared of the plane being taken over by terrorists! How can you rationalize that when it could really happen? Yes we could drive but that's 20 hours of driving each way so that's 2 days out of our 5 day vacation. I would love to hear any ideas or comments


Sunday

SALUTE - " COMMON SENSE MEDIA!" google it

This is a great resource suggested by great nanny madison to judge the appropriateness of movies books and much more for every age group. Any more suggestions on tools to know age appropriate activities?

Ears Covered !!!!!

From Nanny Kristen!! (A Featured Good Nanny)

I love to take my charges to the movies and my MB approves so we have much fun! We just saw "Daddy's Home " and I have good and bad news - it was hilarious from an adult point of view, but from a kid point of view the movie had too much adult content - curse words and content that will take away their innocence. I had to cover their ears more than once, I needed four hands !! The website said pg but it was really pg13. I would not take any child under 15 years to see it.

I also was not completely happy with the new STAR WARS movie either - it was bloody and scared my younger charge.

Any advice on movies - good or bad would be very helpful!

Friday

More Nanny advice please

I work Mon-Fri hourly. my boss decides she didn't need me Monday. shouldn't I still get paid my normal 8 hours for that day? She pays me for holidays, she didn't need me Martin Luther king day. I assume I'm getting paid for that holiday even though it's not a major holiday. she insists we agreed on major holidays. well it's Friday and my boss said no pay for Monday. they have never not needed me. what to do in this situation? I feel like if I take off I don't get paid,if they don't need me I still should get paid.they know this is my only income. please I need advice. I feel like either it was a miscommunication or a manipulation to not have to pay me for a day since the whole family was home and they didn't want anyone else there. I've been here a year,no contract. ugh that was my mistake.

Nanny seeking advice

Hello. Nanny here.. Seeking advice from other nannies out there. So the family I nanny for, the mom will always ask me to do things for her(understandable, I have no problem) but she keeps adding more and more on. And her excuse is always "I have no time". I'm usually here 8:30-5:30. When I get here she goes to the gym from 8:30-10. She is married and the husband works from home sometimes.. As does the mom. Anyway, it's really starting to bother me when she asks me to do X amount of things and uses the excuse of not having time.

Do you think I should bring up to her, I don't understand how she doesn't have time to errands when she CHOOSES to workout? She puts working out a priority over things she should instead be getting done.

Please let me know! :) thank you all.

Am I being jacked? ( Socializing with NF)

I have been with this family for 8 months and I am really happy, I think I love the kids so much I am letting myself be taken advantage of ! The boy is 7 and the little girl is 5. There have been 4 times where the parents invite me to an event of the kids as a "guest" but it does not always turn out that way. One event was a birthday party where many of the kids knew me and I could not rest for a moment - I thought I would get to just hang out with the little girl, no pressure, and kick back, but no, the other parents were constantly asking me to help with the little girl's friends.

I was proud to come and see the boy receive an award, as I feel I help teach him but it took an hour to get to the ceremony and parking was not cheap, and my own family members were needing me for things.

I went to a wedding with their posse and --- I was somehow maneuvered into the kids room!!

 But it makes me worry - if I turn down these invitations will it risk my job, will the kids be sad, and If I have a convo about money - do I charge my same nanny rate? I charge them $15 p/h per day for 30 per week in Dallas suburb area. I am very happy with them otherwise.