Received Sunday, November 11, 2007- Perspective & Opinion
I am a new mom and have been reading your blog since it appeared in the Times last month. My husband and I have been debating, well arguing over when I am returning to work. I had made the case that it would be best if I stayed home these first couple of years, he makes the dollar case. And then came you. Now I have been able to show my husband that if we got a nanny, all sorts of sordid things could happen.
We could use a reputable service, but still get duped.Once we left the house, she might take the child and drop her off at a strange daycare. If I went back to work now, we would run the risk of hiring an alcoholic baby nurse or if we waited we could get an alcoholic nanny or we could end up with any of the dozen or so sleeping nannies referenced here. (Do they retire from nannying if they get fired- or just go on to different jobs?) If we needed to trust her with money, she might troll the streets look for phony receipts, if I needed her to do some occasional grocery shopping, she might steal our Holiday Turkey or she might just end up stealing outright. We could end up with one of the many secret smokers, frenzied smokers someone who used or trusty Volvo wagon to score drugs, (or walked). The nanny could drag our child in to a weird world of nanny sponsored gambling, or the nanny could have a thug boyfriend that she met up with at a No-tel Motel. We would even run the risk of the nanny giving away our shrubbery, hosting seedy parties in our home and posting the pictures on Myspace or taking my child with her to buy porn.I can't bear to imagine my child would be left screaming in her stroller or forbidden from playing with friends because the nanny feared a mess. And what of exposure to other people's nannies who might randomly spank, angrily confront or even shun my nanny.
I had wondered about gossipy nannies, slutty nannies and nannies who go after husbands, but stories of psychotic nannies who care more about their tennis shoes proved shocking to me. I had worried aloud to my husband, 'would the nanny remember to hold my child's hand, treat her gently, tell her how much I missed her, take good care of her when she wasn't feeling well and enjoy taking care of her'?
I know that accidents happen, but I just don't want to miss out. I think this site has helped my husband see the light.
*I also came across this prelude to the Madeline McCann case.
** And thanks to "Mom" who's amusing tirade gave me this idea.