12 May, 2013

How much is too much?

I read the post from the mother who thinks her nanny smells of alcohol. I have been wrestling with this myself, because if I share the info with someone else, they might insist I do something. Lets make this clear, I need my job. Okay, so my employer and I both live in Brooklyn. I live in a section where there are good restaurants and events on weekends. About two months ago, my boss asked me if I would babysit on a Saturday night and I told her I didn't want too because I didn't want my weekend interrupted. She said she really wanted a late meal with the kids and just wanted two hours on a Saturday night. I suggested that she bring the child to me and I would watch her at my house, put her down, etc. I have a portable crib. This worked out, they paid me generously and then it started a kind of a regular occurrence. Most of the time, my employers walk and bring the child. Three times they have had their vehicle, either because of weather or a child already sleeping. When they pick the child up, they most definitely have been drinking. We are not talking about a great distance between our two places. I am increasingly uncomfortable handing over this helpless, often sleeping child two parents who have clearly been drinking. Because I need my job, I was going to suggest that I can keep the child until 10AM the next morning once a month, but I don't want to have them coming to pick up the child while intoxicated. Even if they are walking, something could happen and I feel responsible. The only other thing I can think of is finding them a sitter to come to their house, but that would also come with a whole host of responsibilities and culpability if the sitter wasn't good. Sigh.

9 comments:

Carly said...

This is a tough one!
But first of all, you shouldn't be responsible for finding them a sitter. I know you need your job but do you need the extra Saturday hours? I would just stop doing it and they'll be forced to find their own sitter if they really want to go out. Some new sitter probably wouldn't have them bringing the baby to their house so she would go to theirs and problem solved! Then it's not on you if she isn't a good one because it's up to them to find one.

BKmommy said...

How about you just decline watching the child? You state that you originally didn't want to do it, but did, and now its become a regular thing. The word 'no' is not something to be scared to say aloud. Just nicely decline, say you have plans or something.

HobokeNanny said...

First of all, it's really nice of them to bring the kid to your place. That is awesome!

Second, while you care deeply for this kid and care about it's wellbeing, if they want to pick up their kid completely wasted, that's up to them. You have to understand that they could be drinking alcohol at their own house and get trashed, while the baby is asleep(or maybe not!). It happens. I have been offered to drink at many jobs and parents say "we do it, so feel free."

Don't feel weird about it. While it's not normal in most parts of the country, it's totally normal in the NYC area!

NS Nanny said...

Is there any way you can go to their house? then at least they won't be driving with the kids. I know it's a pain, but you said it wasn't far. Does it matter that much whose house you are working in? If you need this job, you should consider this.

Anonymous said...

This can be a tricky situation, but I think you have a few options

1. Don't babysit anymore. And finding a replacement babysitter is not your responsibility.
2. Since you mentioned they live so close to you, have them go straight home after their night out and call you when they arrive. Then you can walk/drive the baby home.
3. Confront them. Don't be scared. Drunk driving is illegal and dangerous. Do this tactfully and respectfully, because the child's life is more important than a job. Yes, jobs are important, but you can always find another one.

I hope things work out for you OP.


ATLNanny

NayTheNanny said...

Or I would flat out say in a very nice way if there is a way you feel you could say it that won't get you fired) that if they want to let loose and have a few, they can feel free to pick the baby up in the morning. If you think they'd be offended or if this becomes too regular, then do what the PP said. That is quite a position to be in.

Anonymous said...

Why wasn't my comment approved?

ATLNanny

RBTC said...

you are a very responsible nanny - let us know what happens!

Kat said...

If that were me, as soon as they left with that child I'd be calling the police with their tag number. Even if they think it's okay, it's not EVER okay to drive a car while even buzzed, much less drunk and ESPECIALLY not with a child in the car.